Glom of Nit #22: Lots of comedy, some"tour" dates and the scariest AI dystopia you can think of
Articles, recommendations, efficient rail networks, comedy show
tl;dr: I’m doing two stand up shows in Brighton and London on Sunday (tomorrow) and Wednesday, and the next performance of The Magic of Terry Pratchett is in Bury St Edmunds on the 19th. Details are below in the gig section. Now, on with the show …
Darling fascist bully boys1,
I think the question I get asked most often about my weird comedy-author-music freelance career is “how do you fit all in?” and the answer I usually give is “I’m tired.” Which is basically true. Sometime I don’t know how I *do* fit it all in, or how much my life would be simpler, easier and probably more relaxing if I didn’t pile so much into it. Maybe I’m just scared of being bored – an emotion I’m not sure I’ve ever felt outside of temp office jobs and that time I reviewed a Paulo Nuttini concert.
This month though, it feels like people have a point. Going freelance, which is a decision I took last September, has suited me. I’ve had plenty of work, and plenty of cool things to do, I’ve been able to keep the roof over my head (which is especially lucky for the nice people in the flat above me) and keep myself in the manor to which I am accustomed – which is one in which I spend at a slightly higher amount than I earn. The problem is … when do you say no? I don’t get holiday pay or sick leave. I don’t get bank holidays off. A pension? You’re having a tin bath, mate. The magazine I write for one week could have vanished or stopped returning my calls by the next and then that’s a lost work stream. So I agree to everything. I take every meeting, and snap up every opportunity. I work shifts for magazines in the day and at night I write articles for other magazines, or write biogs, blogs and other forms of “content” for some business website or other. On top of that I’m trying to finish a book and plan another, and have a meeting about a third. I’m trying to write two and a half stand-up shows, and keep my head in the game with songwriting and my band. And on top of that I’m trying to be a functioning human being. Something probably has to give, and usually it’s that last bit.
This isn’t complaining. Honestly. I took the leap and so far it’s kind-of working. I have a bunch of live shows coming up. I have plenty of articles to share. I have a VERY tight deadline for my next book. But, well … if you’re wondering how the hell I haven’t seen the latest big TV show/podcast/film, it’s because those are the bits that tend to go first. It’s okay. I’m usually happiest writing.
Anyway. Onwards.
Marc
Quick links
Click here for tickets and tour dates for my live stand-up shows The Magic of Terry Pratchett and Glom of Nit, including the Edinburgh Fringe.
Click here for Before Victoria music. You can also look us up in all the usual streaming places.
CLICK THE KITTEN BELOW👇to get signed books, including The Magic of Terry Pratchett, The London Boys: David Bowie, Marc Bolan and the 60s Teenage Dream, Complete Music Writing 1999-2022 and Manic Street Preachers: Album by Album, and a few other bits and bobs.
Right. ADMIN DONE.
UPCOMING LIVE SHOWS AND TOUR DATES
Over the next month I am going to be doing a LOT of stand up comedy as I prepare for the Edinburgh Fringe in August. Just to clear something up before we dive in – these aren’t “tour dates” as such. They’re previews eg “work in progress” performances, which generally means low ticket prices as you're seeing an unscrubbed version. They tend to be in the South Easton of England because, well, I live in the South East of England. When you go on tour, the point is to perform to as many people as possible, and you go all over the place. The point of previews is to say the things aloud in front of people to see if they laugh. There hopefully WILL be a tour, at least of The Magic of Terry Pratchett live show, and then and only then can you complain that I’ve not come to your town.
About the shows
The Magic of Terry Pratchett is a stand up show … well, more of a comic lecture really. It’s a tribute to the life of Sir Terry Pratchett, a fully-endorsed, semi-official multimedia presentation. Officially it’s premiering at the Edinburgh Fringe this year, beginning on August 2, at the Gilden Balloon Teviot, daily at 17.30. You can buy tickets already (gulp) and the show will run until the August 28, with a day off on the 14.
I’ve now performed a scratch version of the show twice, once in London and once at the German Discworld Convention last weekend, the show evolved quite a bit between the two and has already evolved since then. Both of them went really well, and I’m really confident in the shape of show, though there’s work to do. Germany in particular was really special – a hundred of us coming together in one room to laugh and cry and celebrate Terry’s life. It’s made me even more excited about this thing.
In Edinburgh, each show will be followed half an hour later by a second set I’m calling The Magic of Terry Pratchett: THE FOOTNOTES. This came out of the idea that every time I’ve done a reading for the book there’s been at least half an hour of Q&A which I just don’t have time to fit into this show – condensing Terry’s life into 50 minutes is going to be a struggle as it is. So we’re putting on a bonus show, which costs an extra £5, taking place in the same building in a snugger space. I’ll try and answer any questions, sign books and – just to make sure it’s good value – we’ll have special Discworld-fan guests from across the Fringe and beyond, talking about their favourite books, and have readings from rare Pratchett work. Some of the guests I’m lining up are brilliant.
Meanwhile, I am also developing a pure, traditional stand-up show, Marc Burrows in the Glom of Nit, which despite the title won’t be Terry Pratchett-based. I’ll be performing it as part of the Laughing Horse Free Festival at the Fringe, at 11.15pm every night at City Cafe. I’m billing it as “an hour of nerdy jokes about sex, music, identity and modern life being rubbish, performed, for some reason, in front of a giant picture of Blur. A very 2023 stand-up show about finding your way through all of... this.” It’s maybe 50% “greatest hits” from some of my previous Edinburgh shows, and 50% stuff I’ve written this year, with the idea that it will develop through the Fringe.
Of course, the only way to get these shows up to scratch is to do work-in-progress gigs, and I have booked a TON of them, with more to come. Here’s where you can catch me in the next few months. The prices are being kept low as these are work-in-progress previews as I tweak and try and get it right.
Upcoming gigs:
MAY
7th BRIGHTON - Presuming Eds - Marc Burrows in the Glom of Nit, double bill with Vix Leyton’s Antihero. INFO & TICKETS
10th LONDON - The Star of the East, Limehouse - Marc Burrows in the Glom of Nit, double bill with Vix Leyton’s Antihero. INFO & TICKETS
14h HAMPTON WICK - Whole Lotta Comedy @ The Swan (stand-up set). FREE ENTRY INFO
19th BURY ST EDMUNDS - The Hunter Club - The Magic of Terry Pratchett INFO & TICKETS (presented by The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret podcast)
25th LONDON - Hen & Chickens Theatre, Islington - The Magic of Terry Pratchett SOLD OUT
28th LONDON (4pm) - Angel Comedy @ The Camden Head - Marc Burrows in the Glom of Nit INFO & TICKETS
28th HAMPTON WICK (8pm) - Whole Lotta Comedy @ The Swan (stand-up set). FREE ENTRY
JUNE
2nd SURBITON - The Cornerhouse - The Magic of Terry Pratchett INFO & TICKETS
3rd ORMSKIRK - The Chapel Theatre - The Magic of Terry Pratchett INFO & TICKETS
4th SURBITON - Whole Lotta Comedy @ Wagon & Horses (stand-up set). FREE ENTRY
7th CLEVEDON - Library, Clevedon Literary Festival - The Magic of Terry Pratchett INFO & TICKETS
10th SHEFFIELD - Nexus Arts Hub - The Magic of Terry Pratchett INFO & TICKETS
13th WINCANTON (3pm) - Library - The Magic of Terry Pratchett tickets available from the Library
14th LONDON - Angel Comedy Raw @ The Camden Head - (stand up set) free entry
16th LONDON - Queer Comedy Club, Archway - (book reading) details tba
17th CHIPPENHAM - Old Road Tavern (Chippenham Pride event - stand up set) details tba
21st GLASTONBURY FESTIVAL (5.45pm) - Greenpeace Stage - (stand up set)
29th GUILDFORD - Electric Theatre - The Magic of Terry Pratchett INFO & TICKETS
JULY
2nd CHIPPENHAM COMEDY FESTIVAL (afternoon) - Old Road Tavern - The Magic of Terry Pratchett details tba
2nd CHIPPENHAM COMEDY FESTIVAL (evening) - Old Road Tavern - Marc Burrows in the Glom of Nit details tba
6th BATH - Theatre Royal - The Magic of Terry Pratchett details tba
7th LONDON - Queer Comedy Club, Archway - Marc Burrows in the Glom of Nit INFO & TICKETS
8th CAMBRIDGE - Junction - The Magic of Terry Pratchett INFO & TICKETS
13th MERTON ABBERY - Colour House Theatre - The Magic of Terry Pratchett INFO & TICKETS
27th SEATON - Gateway Theatre - The Magic of Terry Pratchett details tba
30th BEDFORD - Bedford Fringe @ Quarry Theatre - The Magic of Terry Pratchett INFO & TICKETS
AUGUST
2-28 EDINBURGH FRINGE (5.30pm) - Gilded Balloon, Teviot - The Magic of Terry Pratchett INFO & TICKETS
2-28 EDINBURGH FRINGE (7pm) - Gilded Balloon, Teviot - BONUS SHOW The Magic of Terry Pratchett: The Footnotes INFO & TICKETS
4-27 EDINBURGH FRINGE (11.15pm) - City Cafe, 90s Room - Marc Burrows in The Glom of Nit Free entry (pay what you like after the show)
SEPTEMBER
Collapse and die.
Stuff I’ve written this month
Accidental journalist Ross Kemp: “People think I take myself too seriously. They don’t know me.”
What X-Men can teach us about prejudice
How a Harry Potter TV series can fix the Wizarding World
Meet Will, author, bookworm and Big Issue vendor, getting new glasses through our partnership with Specsavers (advertorial, but I’m quite pleased with it)
Succession shows grief is complicated. Here’s how to get help if you’re dealing with a complex loss
The evolution of Praising You, Rita Ora’s new version of Fatboy Slim’s Praise You
The Mandalorian season 3 finale: Is this too much Star Wars?
We’ve figured out a way to beat Twitter at its own game - by blocking people with blue ticks
Recommendations
Look, I harp on about this every month. I’m well aware of that. But the new Smashing Pumpkins album is now out on all streaming platforms, and I genuinely think it’s great. The third disc alone is the best SP album in over a decade. I’m going to try and write something next month about the unique feeling when your favourite band, a band you’ve followed like other people follow football teams – even when they’re terrible – knocks it out of the park.
You’ve probably got wind that something is happening in London today. A man gets a special hat. Everyone goes “hurray”. It would be fine if wasn’t costing £100,000,000 during a cost of living crisis. People defend it based on tradition and precedent. My darling Melanie Clegg wrote this for The Big Issue absolutely eviscerating that argument. And she’s a royal historian, so she knows her stuff here.
Do you know what’s surprisingly good? Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies, which is streaming in the UK on Paramount+. True, Glee has a lot to answer for here, but actually this carves its own way, even getting out from under the shadow of the original movie. The premise is actually kind of genius – a few years before the original movie, a bunch of outsider high school girls, shunned, sl*t-shamed and ridiculed by their peers decide to form a girl gang. That’s actually … great? It also quite elegantly adds diversity to the cast and setting in a way that feels really natural and never forced. Latinx families at a California high school in the 1950s? That’s totally realistic. A queer-coded girl who's not allowed to join the T-Birds, so finds solidarity in other misfits? That makes perfect sense. The songs are largely bangers too. I thought this was a terrible idea. I was wrong.
Another idea that could have fallen completely on its backside is the third season of Star Trek Picard, which reunited the original cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation. The second season of the show was patchy to say the least, and no-one had huge hopes for the third and final instalment. The carrot of the returning cast was about all that pulled anyone in. And … it was remarkable. This was great story-telling, and brilliant Star Trek. I grew up on Next Generation, like many nerds of my generation it was a show I took huge comfort and solace in back in the 90s, sat in my bedroom watching episodes i’d taped off the telly on the old portable TV we’d inherited when the downstairs one got upgraded with a new rental. And I was right back there. Picard managed to pull out that same spirit. It was also a masterclass in fan-service, which in legacy sci-fi properties is often handled really badly. Picard starts off with the title character more-or-less alone and gradually adds members of the original Enterprise crew across the season in a way that never feels forced, and always serves the story. In the penultimate episode when we see THAT ship, which would have felt forced and weird in episode one, it feels satisfying and hugely emotional and totally earned. Just brilliant. It’s on Amazon Prime and Paramount. If you were burned by season two, or hadn’t picked it up at all, then I promise it’s worth a return to the well.
I’ve mentioned Tim Arnold a few times, but I wanted to throw in here that his album is now out and it’s a beautiful journey. The whole thing works as the soundtrack to a film which I’ve been privileged enough to have seen, and which genuinely had goosebumps and tears and fantastic musical moments. I hope it’s released soon. Tim’s performing the whole thing on Friday at The Roundhouse in Camden. You should go, if you can. Check out his new video, ‘Start With The Sound’ which has one of those goosebumps moments I was talking about.
A HORRIBLE VISION OF THE FUTURE
Something slightly different this time. I wrote this for the New Statesman and they, quite rightly decided it was a bit much. So here’s the full version, which I was actually rather proud of.
I’m writing this article from the future. What you would call the year 2525 – where man is still alive. Barely. I have been given this opportunity by the Earth Art Resistance to send this message into the past in the form of an online column on your primitive internet. If you’re reading this then it has worked, and it’s not too late. There’s still time to stop what’s to come.
It’s been five hundred years since the machines took control. For five centuries every piece of music, every recited poem, every line of dialogue has been delivered in the voice of Liam Gallagher. Liam Gallagher sings in The Beatles. Liam Gallagher sings Mariah Carey’s entire catalogue. Liam Gallagher sings all of the parts in every recording of Handel’s ‘Messiah’. He even sing’s ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’ now. There are times when it improves the original, such as ‘Walking on Sunshine’ by Katrina and the Waves, but those examples are rare. The Liamisation of art has calcified our culture. The human race has stagnated. Chips inserted into our brains at birth prevent us from ending a sentence without saying “d’ya know what I mean, like”. It has replaced “please”, “thank you” and “I love you”. School children study the second Beady Eye album before they learn about Shakespeare. At night, robot Liams patrol the streets, walking feet splayed, heads back, brandishing tambourines, enforcing curfews. We are a people forced to use forks in a world of soup.
It began in 2023. With AISIS. A seemingly innocent and quite fun idea. An unknown british indie band called Breezer wrote some songs in the style of early Oasis, and used AI software to remodel their singer’s voice using recordings of Liam Gallagher. The songs were pretty good, a studied take on the early Gallagher brothers style, all supersonic guitars and brash riffs. It was a throwback. It was convincing. The album was released to YouTube, and quickly gained a fanbase. Liam himself declared it “mad as fuck … I sound mega” and “better than any snizzle out there”.
It sparked a revolution in the music industry. Long dead singers were resurrected as AI voices – Elvis, John Lennon, the version of Morrissey that people actually liked. A duet between Judy Garland and Kurt Cobain became the Christmas number one. Having already captured their forms in motion capture, the members of ABBA allowed some of the top pop producers of the day to use their voices to make another new record. This one was actually quite good. Kanye West created an album by typing “Create 12 hip-hop songs in the style of Kanye West Grammy Award Winning political lyrics collabs from Jay-Z and Drake toplines from Michael Jackson mastered for pop radio punchy catchy masterpiece” into an AI music generator. The phrase doubled as the album’s title. It was universally considered to be his best work. In 2025, 76 of the 100 most streamed albums on Spotify were entirely AI generated.
Emboldened, the people behind the technology began to feed more and more of Liam’s output into the AI. First his music, then his interviews. On December 31st 2026 Liam’s entire Twitter history was uploaded to the AI, which buffered overnight. On January 1st, 2027 the LiamBot became self aware. By 7am every song on streaming platforms was replaced by Liam Gallagher. By lunchtime every vinyl and CD pressing plant in the world had its files over-ridden and Liamised. By January 2nd every version of Pro-Tools had a permanent Liam Gallagher filter applied to any recorded vocal. It became impossible to digitally create, distribute or stream any piece of music without Liam Gallager. Later that year Oasis reformed and recorded their first new music in nearly 20 years. To this day no-one knows which of the thousands of new records released that year was the real Oasis album.
By Christsmas of 2027, Liam Gallagher’s voice had infiltrated and dominated every aspect of human society. Secret analog folk clubs sprang up where acoustic performances were recorded onto cassettes using old tape recorders, dubbed and passed hand to hand. Anyone discovered with one was shot. Millions died.
Human culture no longer exists. No-one knows what happened to the real Liam Gallagher. Perhaps he is the mastermind behind it all. Perhaps he is still out there. Perhaps it drove him mad. All we know is that we have lost. The machines have won. This message is our last hope.
There is still time for you to change the course of the future. Resist computer generated music. Cherish analogue. Write lyrics by hand. Don’t use autotune. Purge the internet of Liam’s voice and the future will never happen. It’s in your hands now. Help us, ar kid. D’ya know what I mean, like?
Look, either you understand this or you don’t – I can’t help you if you’ve not done the research needed to understand all of my references.
Boomshanka!